Holy Crap! The Blog! Episode II
I completely forgot about this thing. I’m gonna start it up again. That’s right.
=)
Man, everything was different the last time I posted here. I was an RA, I was in the middle of my second year of college, I had a girlfriend, and I was just generally happier. Now it’s almost the end of my third year, & still haven’t shot anything that I’m really proud of because I seem to be incapable of writing something simple; I always bite off more than I can chew.
I’ve been really out of it the past month or so. I’m not really sure what my problem is. Let’s try and figure it out.
I feel like such a waste of life. I need a job. I have a lot of work to catch up on for class. I wish I had more money. I’m terrified of graduating next year. I feel really insecure. I don’t think anyone really likes me. I’m scared of working at Fridays for the rest of my life. Maybe I’m not the brilliant, innovative filmmaker I thought I was when I was 14. Maybe I chose the wrong major. I make music; maybe that’s where my career is. I like to write; maybe I should have studied journalism. Maybe I would have been happier doing that. Maybe not, but who knows – the not knowing part really freaks me out, too. I’ve been irritable lately. A lot of things piss me off. I wish I had more friends, but I take pride in knowing I wouldn’t completely change myself just to gain friends or fit in with a group. The few people who do stomach my presence somewhat frequently, I feel obligated to mention here (as I never have) how much it makes me feel better to know you’re a friend. Whoever it is, whenever I get a text or a call from someone I get to call my friend, it always cheers me up. Even if it’s about nothing. Maybe I’m just weird, talking about all of this shit. Maybe I am insane. Who knows. Bleh. I hate to admit it but I’m a little lonely. It’s not a big deal; everyone gets lonely. It just sorta sucks sometimes. You ever take a really long walk and just look at the people you pass, and wonder how many of them you could have a relationship with? How many potential relationships that could work out perfectly do you pass every day, just because no one said anything? It’s terrifying and kind of encouraging at the same time. I guess I should learn to do that. I’m the king of hindsight.
No more bitching and moaning, let’s go over some good shit.
Green Day‘s new album comes out May 15th. I’m excited. I love those guys. Oh and Blink-182 is back together? What? WHAT? Seriously, who knew? Well, we all did; just didn’t think it would be this soon.
Also, I can’t fucking wait for this summer. Beach, make some money, make some shorts, and work on a bigger one. Going to plan my thesis down to every fucking letter and camera movement. I think I know who I’m going with for my advisors, too (Bowes and Brooker).
Alright, this was fun. Same time tomorrow? Or maybe in a couple hours? Sweet.
