=)

Man, everything was different the last time I posted here.  I was an RA, I was in the middle of my second year of college, I had a girlfriend, and I was just generally happier.  Now it’s almost the end of my third year, & still haven’t shot anything that I’m really proud of because I seem to be incapable of writing something simple; I always bite off more than I can chew.

I’ve been really out of it the past month or so.  I’m not really sure what my problem is.  Let’s try and figure it out.

 I feel like such a waste of life.  I need a job.  I have a lot of work to catch up on for class.  I wish I had more money.  I’m terrified of graduating next year.  I feel really insecure.  I don’t think anyone really likes me.  I’m scared of working at Fridays for the rest of my life.  Maybe I’m not the brilliant, innovative filmmaker I thought I was when I was 14.  Maybe I chose the wrong major.  I make music; maybe that’s where my career is.  I like to write; maybe I should have studied journalism.  Maybe I would have been happier doing that.  Maybe not, but who knows – the not knowing part really freaks me out, too.  I’ve been irritable lately.  A lot of things piss me off.  I wish I had more friends, but I take pride in knowing I wouldn’t completely change myself just to gain friends or fit in with a group.  The few people who do stomach my presence somewhat frequently, I feel obligated to mention here (as I never have) how much it makes me feel better to know you’re a friend.  Whoever it is, whenever I get a text or a call from someone I get to call my friend, it always cheers me up.  Even if it’s about nothing.  Maybe I’m just weird, talking about all of this shit.  Maybe I am insane.  Who knows.  Bleh.  I hate to admit it but I’m a little lonely.  It’s not a big deal; everyone gets lonely.  It just sorta sucks sometimes.  You ever take a really long walk and just look at the people you pass, and wonder how many of them you could have a relationship with?  How many potential relationships that could work out perfectly do you pass every day, just because no one said anything?  It’s terrifying and kind of encouraging at the same time.  I guess I should learn to do that.  I’m the king of hindsight.

No more bitching and moaning, let’s go over some good shit.

Green Day‘s new album comes out May 15th.  I’m excited.  I love those guys.  Oh and Blink-182 is back together? What?  WHAT?  Seriously, who knew? Well, we all did; just didn’t think it would be this soon.

Also, I can’t fucking wait for this summer.  Beach, make some money, make some shorts, and work on a bigger one.  Going to plan my thesis down to every fucking letter and camera movement.  I think I know who I’m going with for my advisors, too (Bowes and Brooker).

Alright, this was fun.  Same time tomorrow?  Or maybe in a couple hours?  Sweet.

I almost bought Logic Express today but decided to actually learn it a little bit first, or maybe stick to Pro Tools.  I might take an Apple learning class to learn Logic Express.  Awesome.  

I think I’ll watch Star Wars tonight.  Maybe Empire, or Jedi.  Or A New Hope.  Or all three! Fuck yeah! Christmas Eve-Eve Star Wars Marathon! Alright later. 

Oh yeah! I have a girlfriend now.  Well since September.  Yeah, nice.  She’s swell.  We frolic through fields of sunflowers and bathe in fountains and soar on eagles over the countryside.  Tonight we watched Superbad and ate Pop Tarts and ice cream.  INTENSE.  Yup.So the semester is pretty much over except for a couple classes on Tuesday and Wednesday.  My semester film came out alright.  It’s pretty rad.  I’ll post it later.  But yeah in a few days I get to go home which is awesome.  Chill with my family, play with my dog, wave hello to all my neighbors whose homes I probably vandalized at some point in high school, it’s good stuff.  I wanna chill with Hack when I go home because he has a Wii and I wanna play some ultimate bowling.  My girlfriend has a Wii but it’s never set up in her room, which is the equivalent of handing me a working lightsaber and then when I’m about to activate the crystals, you throw it in the ocean.  Lame.  Oh well.  Wii soon so it’s cool.My girlfriend got me a bass for Christmas though which is totally rad.  Love you!

Alright I got work tomorrow and then I’m going Christmas shopping.  Woot!  Later people!

Time to recap? Time to recap.

So I’m living in NYC waiting for school to start. Last Sunday all the new students moved in. Being an RA I had to chill here all day and check them into their rooms. Fun. Bleh. We got free food though which was great. So now today, all the returning students are moving back in. Check-In began at 9am. Its now 1:06 PM. How many people checked in on my floor so far? Zero. None. No one checked in on my floor. I’ve been sitting here for 4 hours. Holy balls I am fucking bored. Seriously people, move in already. I didn’t have to get up at 9 apparently and I wouldn’t have if I knew you all were gonna take your sweetysweet time moving back into your dorms. Oh well, we get free food again today. Nice.

My room is the most pimp dorm room ever, by the way. Yeah. I have a sexy area rug which has a glass coffee table and a leather chair on it, not to mention my sexy walls which are still being decorated. I am McLovin.

Alright, gonna go walk around the floor until someone needs to be checked in. Later, people.

Nice.

This whole week has been fun with RA stuff and just enjoying NYC. Tonight I’m seeuing Superbad, which looks totally hilarious.

K, later.

My diet for the past 3 days:

I was planning on moving back to NYC on Saturday but I think I’m gonna push that back until Sunday, seeing as how I sound like I’m talking with a sock in my mouth right now, an extra day of rest might be smart. Okay, time for a shower and some grilled cheese. Later, people.

I have a lot of things to do before next week. I need a whole bunch of new clothes because I haven’t bought many clothes in like the past year. I need a bunch of stuff for my dorm room, food, shoes, notebooks, pens, appliances, and lots of hangers.

One of the big reasons I’m so amped to head back to the city is because of all the awesome stuff that goes on in The Big Apple. Concerts, shows, movie sets, and just a lot of really really cool things that make NYC so amazing. For example, here’s +44 doing an in-store signing last year at the Virgin Store like 40 seconds from my school. Sweet.

KEVIN SMITH TOMORROW AT COUNT BASIE THEATRE IN RED BANK. FUCK YEAH!

Peace.

It’s so cool shooting concerts because the crowd always looks at you with a sort of slight respect, mixed with a little bit of “get that camera out of the way you moron I can’t see the stage.” I definitely felt both of those.

Check out my shiny access pass to Starland. Nice.

Okay, later.